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Lord and Guardian - 4 & 5

Part 4/?


After the storm

Do not post or archive. For this site only!
Haldir, Guardian of Lothlorien

Haldir and Celeborn want each other, but don't know the other's feelings. Misunderstandings separate them. Elrohir is left by his lover, and comes to Lothlorien to recuperate. Haldir and Elrohir comfort each other, and warm feelings grow between them.
Thanks to the livejournal Lord and Guardian for letting us use their name for our favourite couple.
Warning: This portion rated NC-17! Graphic sex between same gender partners.

The sun's rays flickering through the leaves above penetrated the cracks in the canvas and tickled Haldirs nose. Slowly, he opened his eyes a little, only to look into the sleeping face of another a mere inch away, snuggled closely into his arms, holding him tight. Closing his eyes again, still not quite awake, he lay for a moment, feeling the soft breath on his face and warm skin tight against his own bare chest. Relishing the feeling of another body so close to him, he snuggled closer, not wanting to wake up.

Elrohir did not want to wake. His dreams had taken him back to before he had awoken that morning, before the letter - before Shadow had left him. For a while he had forgotten that night, the rain having cleaned it, though the pain in his soul would still remain. He snuggled closer to Haldir with a soft sigh, trying to cling to sleep.

Haldir's pleasant dreams had centered around Celeborn as always, and in his still dreamy state, feeling arms pulling him close, lips almost touching - he unconsciously pressed against the other, nipping at the soft lips, not opening his eyes.

"Shadow..." Elrohir murmured the name softly, not even realizing it was not his lover in his arms or remembering that he was no longer even in Imladris. He caught the gentle lips so near his own in a deep passionate kiss, body arching against Haldir's.

Already slightly aroused due to his dream, Haldir responded just as passionately to the deep kiss, letting the other's tongue explore his mouth. Moving his hand down to the other's rounded bottom, pressing it against himself, he felt another arousal arching against his own. Oh, my love, Celeborn.

Elrohir groaned softly into the kiss, arching against Haldir, keeping the kiss going for a while longer, his eyes still glazed with sleep, though wakefulness slowly approached. At last he pulled away, sighing softly. His hand came up to caress a soft cheek, his eyes opening completely as it slipped back into long hair instead of short locks. "Haldir?" he whispered softly, slowly closing his eyes, fighting back the disappointment that threatened to overload the temporary sense of balance he had found.

Hearing his name, Haldir slowly realized this was not Celeborn's voice. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking into Elrohir's gray eyes. Uncomprehending, utterly confused, he let go of the other, slowly untangling his legs and arms. Amidst the bewilderment and disappointment, he realized Elrohir looked sad, and tentatively he stroked the hair away from the other's face, shaking his head slowly, blushing in embarrassment, not knowing what to say or do.

"I am sorry, Haldir," Elrohir said mournfully, looking away from Haldir. "Forgive me, I should not have done that." He pulled away a little, staring toward the sunlight that filtered through the forest outside, just visible beneath the edge of the tarp. He had wished it had been Shadow, had thought it was - to find Haldir there had made him feel sad and foolish at the same time.

Haldir shook his head again. "Do not apologize. I am the one to blame. I dreamt of my love, and half asleep I confused him with you. I am sorry, I should not have done this." Still confused, he looked at Elrohir. "Did I make you sad? I am so sorry."

Elrohir glanced back at him. "It was not your fault. I do believe I was the one who kissed you first," he said quietly, reaching up to touch Haldir's cheek gently. "I, too, had a dream," he admitted. "It was not you who made me remember, but myself."

"Then we are both equally miserable," Haldir concluded. "I can see that you are sad and disappointed I was not the one you dreamt of. I felt the same way. Now I suppose we will become as unhappy as we were last night." Remembering what had transpired during the night, he closed his eyes a little, lifting a hand to close it around Elrohir's, keeping it there.

Turning his hand to tighten it around Haldir's, Elrohir faced him fully once more. "Then perhaps we should not think of that which plagues us but something else," he suggested. "There is no forgetting, but for a time, one can choose not to remember."

"I want to stop remembering," Haldir whispered, "but I do not know how." He looked at Elrohir, his eyes dark with sadness, and slowly turned his head to let his lips graze Elrohir's fingertips resting on his cheek.

He almost could not stand to see his own feelings mirrored in Haldir's eyes - it was more an impulse that took over as Elrohir moved closer once more to catch Haldir's lips with his own, this time on purpose. "Then close your eyes, and imagine that it is he with you instead of I," he whispered, breaking the kiss after a moment, body pressing closer to Haldir's again.

Looking deep into Elrohir's eyes, Haldir understood what he meant. The kiss reminded him again of the happiness he had felt in his dreamy state, making him want to return there. He could tell Elrohir experienced the same need. Gently, he brought his lips to Elrohir's, brushing them, before capturing them in a long kiss, wrapping his arms around him.

Arching into the touch, letting his eyes slide almost all the way closed, Elrohir could almost do as he had said - imagine that it was not Haldir. Yet it felt almost wrong to do so. He did not care right then, the needs of his body took precedence over what his mind thought of the matter. He wanted to be touched, to let himself focus on the feeling instead of anything else.

Seeing Elrohir's response to his kiss, and feeling his body pressing close, Haldir remembered the passionate embrace they had shared in their dream. It aroused him slightly for it had been so long since he had shared his body with another, pining after Celeborn. The combination of the dream, his state of mind, the warm touches of skin on his body and the aroused state of the other, made his body yearn for contact, seek Elrohir's lips again.

Elrohir felt the response and did not think of his own, just let it happen. Perhaps it would have been just Shadow who would have had him had he stayed around. No, now Elrohir knew he wanted the touch of another, wanted the comfort it would provide. He made a soft sound into the kiss, his hand running gently down along Haldir's side, feeling his soft skin beneath his fingertips.

The light touches of Elrohir's fingers tingled along his skin, and quickend his pulse. In a fleeting moment, Haldir remembered similar touches and feelings just a few nights before, and that almost made him lose heart again. That night the caresses had not meant anything. Celeborn had obviously not cared about him. It made Haldir fear that this would be similar - that the other Elf would behave just like Celeborn, kiss him and then leave, never looking back. Anxious and confused, Haldir hesitated, breaking the kiss, not knowing what Elrohir wanted.

"Your body likes my touch," Elrohir murmured softly, before he glanced up to see the look on the Guardian's face. He almost stopped, but something other than his own need - told him not to. Slowly, purposefully, he moved to press his body against Haldir's, letting their mutual needs grind against each other as he nipped at the Guardian's lower lip.

Haldir lay on his back, feeling the other body press its need against his, and he felt the heat spread throughout his body. Arching his head back, mouth partly open, he closed his eyes and just let himself feel - enjoy another warm body eagerly moving against his own. Moaning softly, he let his arms run up and down Elrohir's back, tangling in his hair, arching his whole body up against the one above him.

Elrohir arched into the touch though only so much so, not wanting to lose contact with Haldir's blissfully warm body beneath his. Catching Haldir's lips once more with his own, deepening the kiss needily, his breath came faster until he finally pulled away. "Would you have me, Haldir?" he whispered huskily, moving to kiss his way along the other Elfs jaw. "I am not the one you long for, but... would you have me?'

Looking at Elrohir with eyes half closed, Haldir lifted both hands to his face, stroking the dark hair away from his face and tucking it gently behind his ears. "I know you are not him, Elrohir. It would not be fair of me to use you as a substitute for another." He lifted his head to kiss the other tenderly, letting his tongue run along the full lower lip, before sucking it into his mouth, tasting it. "I would have you now, if you would have me, although I am not your lost lover. Would you have me, Elrohir?"

His heart lightened a little at Haldir's eloquent words, his hands coming up to cup Haldir's face gently. "I would say the same to you as you have said to me," he replied softly. 'I would have you, Haldir of Lothlorien.' Closing the distance to press another kiss, this one slow and loving.

Haldir returned the kiss tenderly, feeling a wave of affection for the young Elf lord wash over him. Locking both hands behind Elrohir's head, he urged his tongue against the soft lips until he was granted entrance. Once inside, he eagerly explored the sweet tasting mouth, from the palate to the teeth, finding the eager tongue and sucking it gently, bringing it into his own mouth, intertwining them.

Elrohir let his eyes slide closed, not picturing another, but simply feeling the kiss without any other sensations save that of Haldir's body still beneath him. His eyes came open after the kiss, looking down at Haldir and feeling his own heart stir with affection for him at the look there. It was not love, not in the way that he felt for Shadow and that he knew Haldir felt for another, ne not that, but it was something akin to it. Elrohir knew then in that moment that they would always be friends, even though he knew that this would not last as they were now. In the end they both loved another.

Looking into Elrohir's eyes, Haldir was moved to find his own newly found affection mirrored there. Closing his eyes, he kissed Elrohir again, feeling his body tingle when the other moved on top of him, loving the feel of bare skin on his skin. Oh Celeborn, it should have been you!

Shoving the unwelcome thought back, he deepened the passionate kiss, arching up against Elrohir.

"Are you sure of this?" Elrohir asked softly, lips brushing against the soft skin of Haldir's neck. He would not if Haldir was not certain that this was what he wanted. He wanted it yes, but if Haldir did not...

Haldir's eyes darted open, unsure what Elrohir meant. "Do you not want to do this?" he asked cautiously, stroking his fingers through the silky dark hair that hung around them like a curtain, not quite able to stop his body from moving against the other, needing this, craving the touches of another body. "I want to get to know you - but if it pains you, we will not do this. What do you want, Elrohir?"

He almost said what came to his mind next, but he did not, simply moving to catch Haldir's lips again, gently kissing him. Moving his lips down to tease a delicately pointed ear, Elrohir smiled slightly. "I have already told you what I want," he replied, arching his body down against Haldir's. "Can you not feel my want?" His tongue teased its way along Haldir's ear, before Elrohir pulled back to look down at Haldir once more. "I want you."

Haldir's ears were so sensitive Elrohir's tongue almost undid him. Arching his head slightly back, exposing the white skin of his neck, Haldir moaned slightly, tongue darting out between his moist lips. "Oh, yes. I can feel you," he breathed, moving his hands up and down the other Elf's body, hitching his legs around Elrohirs knees, pushing back against the hardness of the other. "Can you feel what I want?"

Elrohir groaned quietly against Haldir's skin, eyes sliding almost closed in response, teeth brushing gently along Haldir's neck. "I can..." he whispered softly, hand coming to run along Haldir's chest, teasing a nipple. Elrohir wanted to feel Haldir's skin against him, all of it, not just as they were now, but he waited for a little bit, not wanting to go too fast.

Haldir ran his nails lightly down Elrohir's spine, relishing the feel of him shivering in response, then rested his hands lightly on top of the waistband that had halted his ministrations. Slipping one hand inside it, he let it slide down to find a firmly rounded buttock, squeezing it lightly, while his other hand moved to the front, fiddling with the strings.

"Please..." Elrohir breathed softly, lifting his body enough that Haldir had freer movement between them. Leaning down to catch the pert nipple between his teeth, he pulled at it a little before letting his tongue toy with it.

The teasing of his nipple made Haldir draw a quick hissing breath. Taking advantage of Elrohir's little movement to roll them slightly over on the side, he pulled the strings on Elrohir's leggings, loosening the bindings. Leaning forward, he bestowed a trail of kisses starting at Elrohir's neck and proceeding down to his chest. He returned the tease, biting the nipple carefully, while stroking his hand above the front of the open leggings, teasing, but not going inside.

Elrohir whimpered softly at the teasing, his body arching forward into the touch, his fingers running down Haldir's back, nails grazing his flesh lightly. "Haldir..." he murmured softly, the name slipping easily off his tongue. The teasing touch of Haldir's hair on his skin, enticing and beautiful as he watched the sunlight play across them from under the edge of the tarpaulin, made his hair look like spun gold.

Smiling, Haldir increased his ministrations on the lovely pink nipple, then moving his mouth over to its twin, giving it the same treatment. His hand slipped down the front of Elrohir's leggings, still on the outside, and cupped him gently. Lifting his head from the enticing nipple, Haldir gave Elrohir a mischievous grin, at the same time squeezing his grip slightly. "Yes, lord Elrohir... Is there something you want?" he whispered, looking deep into those shining, slightly dazed gray eyes.

Elrohir's tongue darted out along his lips as he gasped softly, breath hitching, unable to answer for a moment - a shiver running through him. "Yes, I do..." he breathed with a soft whimper. "Yes...'

Moving his head up to nibble along the underside of Elrohir's jaw, tracing the jaw line with his tongue until reaching his ear, licking slowly along the edge of it and sucking the tip, Haldir moved his hand up to the waistband again, starting to pull the leggings down, slowly. "Tell me what you want, then," he breathed in his ear, relishing Elrohir's flushed appearance, making him tantalizingly beautiful. "Or show me.'

Lifting his head enough to look at Haldir, Elrohir groaned. "Touch me, Haldir," he hissed, eyes dark with passion, hands moving down to his own body, hips lifting up as he slowly pushed his leggings down. "Please, Haldir." His hands slid up to rest on Haldir's hips.

Seeing that passionate look made Haldir's own leggings feel painfully tight, his groin throbbing with heat. Still, he tried to ignore it as he carefully rolled Elrohir over on his back, and sitting on his knees helped the other pull down his leggings to carelessly drop next to the bed. Sitting back, he took a moment to admire the young Elf lying before him, the silken dark hair shimmering in the specks of sunlight, the alabaster white skin, the flushed cheeks and hazy eyes - and his beautiful need, bobbing up against his navel.

Elrohir gazed up at Haldir, returning the look, seeing his own feelings mirrored on the Guardian's face, his tongue darted out across his lips as he sighed softly. Bringing his hands up to run them slowly down Haldir's chest, touching gently, enjoying the soft feel of skin beneath his fingertips. "You are beautiful," he whispered quietly, a gentle little smile on his face.

"So are you," Haldir whispered, bending down to Elrohir's chest, licking and nipping first at one nipple, then moving over to the other, circling his tongue around them, enjoying Elrohir's quickened breathing. He then continued to trail his tongue down to the navel, nuzzling it, kissing it tenderly, before trailing further down to the base of his length, while gently rolling the soft sac between his fingers.

"Haldir..." Elrohir forced himself to think, gently pulling Haldir up. "Wa... wait please..." His breath hitched for a moment, eyes sliding closed before opening again. "Not just me..." Slipping his fingers through Haldir's waistband, catching the other elfs eyes meaningfully. "Please?'

"Yes..." Haldir whispered, claiming Elrohir's lips in a passionate kiss, feeling the restraints of his pants painfully against his heated body. "Oh, please... Yes..."

Letting the kiss last for a little while before gently pushing Haldir back, Elrohir ran his hands down Haldir's chest once more. He held Haldir's gaze as he undid the lacing on his pants, brushing his fingers along his erection as he did so - pushing them down when he had finished unlacing them.

Haldir moaned slowly, shifting somewhat to help Elrohir get his leggings out of the way, and dropped them next to the bed. He arched up into Elrohir's fingers. Elrohir gasped as he finally felt Haldir's skin against his own, a groan of pleasure slipping past his lips, his hands trailing along skin, he stroked Haldir before pulling the Guardian's body down against his own.

"Kiss me..." Elrohir whispered, nipping at Haldirs lower lip, body arching up against Haldirs. "Love me..."

Haldir pressed against Elrohir, claiming his mouth hungrily, sucking the lips and the eager tongue, intertwining, until they had to gasp for air. Their mutual erections pressed together, rubbing against each other as Haldir pressed down slowly, weeping drops slickening the friction. He could feel Elrohir's pulse in it, mingling with his own, and it made him grow achingly hard, his breath coming in shallow gasps.

Elrohir groaned loudly, using his hands to pull Haldir's body tighter against his own, breaking the kiss as he tossed his head slightly. Shivers ran through his body as he ground himself against Haldir harder, wanting more, his fingers digging into Haldir's hips.

Panting heavily, Haldir lifted his hips slightly, and slid his hand between them. Grasping both erections, he rubbed them together, milking them for the clear fluid, until they grew slick all over. Gathering much of it on his fingers, he slipped his hand between Elrohir's thighs, searching for his entrance. Sliding his slick fingers along the opening, he carefully slipped a finger inside.

Gasping, hands moving along any part of Haldir's skin that he could find, licking dried lips as he pressed down against the invading finger. "Yes..." Elrohir whimpered softly, eyes fluttering closed simply letting himself feel.

Trembling with need, Haldir continued, slipping a second slick finger inside the tight opening, then a third, searching for the little bump of pleasure. All the time he continued to rub himself against Elrohir's hip, sucking the tender skin on his neck and shoulder.

Running slightly unsteady fingers down Haldirs body, Elrohir slipped his hand between them, taking Haldir in hand. His hand slowly moved along Haldir's aroused flesh. He wanted to hear what sounds would come from the normally stoic Guardian.

Haldir moaned loudly, feeling the much-desired touches,  his whole body trembling. Thrusting his fingers carefully into Elrohir, changing the angle a little, he found the spot he searched for - hoping to ready Elrohir for more.

Elrohir was ready, did not care if it hurt - he wanted Haldir inside him. He had never been one to take it easy, to be slow and gradual about things, except maybe a few times. Usually he just jumped right in and what happened, happened. A gasp of pleasure escaped as he arched farther into the touch, his hand tightening involuntarily around Haldir's cock, as Haldir succeeded in finding what he was looking for.

"Ai... wait..." Haldir moaned, feeling that he could not last much longer if Elrohir continued squeezing him like that. "Would you... let me be...inside you..." he almost sobbed.

"Please..." Elrohir breathed, forcing his hand to loosen and slow a little, eyes opening to look up at Haldir with a soft whimper. "Take me..." He let his hand fall away, shifting a bit before Haldir to give him better access.

Panting rapidly, Haldir kissed Elrohir hungrily, not caring to be gentle now, almost biting his lips - then he lifted his body slightly and pushed Elrohir's legs out to the sides. Extracting his fingers, he rubbed his hand a couple of times along his own stiffness, making it as slick as possible - then pushed himself carefully into the tight opening. Barely inside, he stopped for a little while - the warm tightness around him almost made him come right there.

Arching up against him, a little oblivious to Haldir's dilemma, Elrohir's hands tightened in the furs beneath his body, digging into the softness. Head thrown back slightly, he panted for breath as he waited quite impatiently for Haldir to continue. He wanted to feel Haldir in him fully.

After a moment Haldir had regained a little control, and started moving - gently at first, not wanting to hurt Elrohir - but the eagerness of the other had him fully buried after just a few thrusts. Bending over Elrohir to ravish his mouth again, he started rocking at a moderate pace.

Moving with Haldir, forcing him deeper as much as he could, Elrohir's hands came up to touch any part of Haldir he could reach, tangling in his hair, running along his shoulders and back. Returning the kiss with passion, his tongue danced eagerly with Haldir's.

Groaning, Haldir gradually increased the pace, gasping for air, feeling the tension in his body starting to build. He slipped his hand in between their bodies, tightening his fingers around Elrohir's cock, moving his hand in rhythm with his thrusts.

Gasping, Elrohir broke the kiss, as he could not hold his head still long enough, gasping for breath. "Haldir..." he whimpered - the feeling of Haldir's hand on him, the feeling of him inside his body - knowing it would not last much longer as Haldir's pace picked up. "Harder..." he groaned.

Haldir neared the edge. He could not slow down now, even if he had wanted to. Almost whimpering, tightening his grip around Elrohir, he moved faster and faster, all coherent thought gone. Then he tipped over, and with half choked sobs he felt the cramps wash over him in warm waves as he emptied himself deep inside Elrohir.

The feeling of Haldir coming inside of him, combined with the pressure of the hand around him, was enough to send Elrohir after him. One of his hands tightening protectively in the Guardian's hair, as his shuddering body arched up against Haldirs body. "Aaaahh...!"

Exhausted, Haldir collapsed on top of Elrohir, his hand and both their bodies covered in long, milky strands of stickiness. As the waves of pleasure subsided, he limply managed to slide down next to Elrohir, resting his head on his shoulder, trying to regain his breath, looking lovingly at him.

Elrohir let his arms slip around Haldir as the Elf dropped to the furs next to him, and then turned his head enough to place a kiss on his forehead. He did not bother trying to say anything else, instead just holding Haldir and being held was enough for now. His fingers absently brushed slightly damp strands of hair from Haldir's face. Elrohir enjoyed the comforting warmth and pressure of having another near. That was something he missed almost more than anything else, simply having someone else near by.

Haldir felt a wave of tenderness flow over him as he looked into Elrohir's eyes. It had been so long since the last time he had shared his body with someone, he had almost forgotten this wonderful feeling of being so near someone else. Enjoying the closeness and tender caresses, he snuggled tightly into Elrohir's arms, kissing his brows, eyelids, cheeks, nose, lips with feather light touches, sighing in contentment.

A sweet little smile played across Elrohir's face at the tender kisses, his arms tightening around Haldir in response. "Thank you, Haldir," he whispered quietly after a little while had passed. He knew the simple words could never express what he felt and yet nothing better came to his mind. It would have to be enough, at least for now. Elrohir hoped they could lie there for a little while longer. He listened to the sound of the wind in the trees and the birds that had long since awoken, but it Haldirs heartbeat remained the sweetest music.

His body still limp, feeling utterly relaxed and content, Haldir began getting drowsy, and nuzzling into Elrohirs face and hair, he held him tight and began to doze off. It was so easy to follow his new lover down that path, to let the cobwebs of sleep drift across his mind. Much easier than to think about anything else, but Elrohir stayed awake a little while longer staring up at the dappled sunlight visible on the outside of the tarpaulin. So it was sleep crept upon him, dragging him under before he had even realized it and leaving the two tangled in each other's arms once more, fast asleep.

Sometime later, Haldir awoke, and carefully, without waking his lover, rose, dressed, and started taking the canvas down, letting the sunshine in. Seeing that the light stirred Elrohir, Haldir smiled tenderly at him and threw an apple at him.

"Time to wake up, you sleepy head," he grinned mischievously. "We only have fruit left, but you can eat when we get to the city. It will only take a couple of hours now, because we will go back to the road shortly, and then we can ride the rest of the way." Bending down, Haldir pushed the disheveled dark hair away from Elrohir's face and tucked it behind his ear, stroking him affectionately on his cheek. Smiling, he placed a light kiss on his forehead, and then pulled his hand. "Come on now. On your feet."

Laughing softly, Elrohir pulled Haldir down onto the furs next to him, moving to catch his lips with a quite passionate kiss before pulling away. Kneeling next to him for a moment, his fingers trailed along Haldir's face with a mirror caress. "I'll be ready in a few moments," he commented, moving to slip on his leggings. He slung his pack over his shoulder, and then picked up the few other things that were his before disappearing over the side of the talan to take a quick dip in the stream before dressing completely.

Haldir appeared on the ground with the rest of their packs. "I need to wash too." He laughed. "You made me sticky." He joined Elrohir in the stream for a quick wash in the ice cold water, enjoying himself by splashing water on the other Elf and getting soaked in return, before finally retreating to get dressed and making Nim ready for travel.

Taking a little bit longer to dress, Elrohir watched Haldir as he did so, finding that for the first time in many weeks he could not stop smiling. It was as if something had lightened in his soul, something that not even his brother had been able to lift - though Elladan's preoccupation with Glorfindel did not yet allow him to concentrate on his brother much. Thinking over all that had happened, Elrohir sighed softly, glancing up to find Haldir looking at him. With a smile for Haldir, Elrohir tied his hair back again. He then stood, picked up his pack once more, and walked over to greet Tel, giving her the rest of his apple.

Shall we be on our way then, Haldir? he asked, an arm draped lightly over Tels neck as he turned to look at the Guardian. Moving away from the horse, he drew the other Elf into his arms for a lingering kiss before he could reply, fingers running gently through Haldir's hair.

Returning the kiss and deepening it somewhat before pulling away, Haldir just smiled happily at him. "Yes, we should be on our way... That is, if I can take my eyes off you." He laughed, kissing Elrohir again. With yet another lingering kiss, ending in a tight hug, Haldir said softly, "I am glad I chose to follow you to the city." Not needing to say any more, he slowly pulled away from Elrohir, stroking his cheeks tenderly before finally returning to Nim.

Watching him go for a moment before forcing himself to turn away, Elrohir continued smile as he ran a hand through his hair before he remembering he had already put it. Laughing quietly at his own stupidity, he pulled the thong from his hair tying it about his wrist, leaving his hair loose for the moment. He would put it up again before he greeted the Lord and Lady of the Wood - or whomsoever should choose to greet him. For now it mattered not, least of all to him. Brushing his fingers along Tel's silky coat, he gave her a hug wishing it were Haldir he was hugging, before he even realized that it had not been Shadow he had thought of this time. Putting the nagging thought out of his mind, Elrohir was determined to keep his happy mood. If Shadow could just up and leave him without so much as saying a proper good bye or giving him a good reason - or the chance to come with him, then he could have his fun. So pushing Shadow from his mind as well, Elrohir let Haldir lead the way as they left the happy little place behind, he found he wished they could stay there longer.


Part 5/?


At the city gate

Rated PG

Haldir and Elrohir comfort each other, and warm feelings grow between them.  Now they must travel to the City and face Celeborn.

Thanks to the livejournal Lord and Guardian for letting us use their name for our favorite couple.

For the first time in many years, Haldir's heart felt lighter. He had not wanted to think about his troubles, not wanting to destroy his happiness. On their walk through the forest they had talked and laughed, and when they led their horses out of the thick underbrush onto the road again, they had stopped and kissed each other tenderly, bestowing gentle caresses upon each other, lingering touches, before mounting their horses. But as they neared the city of Caras Galadhorn, his heart fell and his thoughts were in turmoil, almost making him want to turn and ride into the forest again with Elrohir, back to their talan.

What would he do when they reached the city? Protocol demanded that he follow the guest up to the reception hall in the large talan, and announce him to the Lord and Lady, and it was his duty to stay there until dismissed, or until he could leave with the guest. He would have to see Celeborn again, look into those pale blue eyes, and know... Oh, what a fool he had been! The way he had behaved, all the hopes he had built up... Celeborn had just teased him with all his caresses. He had just been lonely!

The next day this lover had arrived, and Haldir had meant nothing. That kiss in the forest... just kissing him and leaving him standing there like a fool... getting his hopes up for nothing, and then breaking his heart with this new lover... Oh, I have been such a fool!

Haldir was certain Celeborn had not meant for him to take it that way. He was a gentle man and would never hurt him knowingly... something stirred in his heart at that thought. But still - it had served to show him how hopeless his whole situation had been. Celeborn had never - and would never - love a simple guard. As simple as that. Oh, but to look into those light blue eyes again - he feared it, dreaded it, not knowing how he would react - would he be able to stay in control?

He had spent so many lonely years as Celeborn's guard, watching him, pining for him, never allowing himself to find the love of others, ever wretched, ever miserable. But Elrohir... sweet, funny Elrohir... had touched something in him - something he did not know was there.

Haldir had not meant to become so taken with Elrohir, he knew that they had just been comforting each other, to start the much needed healing of their hearts, but there was something special about this son of Elrond... Elrohir had been so kind to him, so gentle, so caring... He was such a sweet person, young, fresh, lively - who else would climb a treetop during a thunderstorm - and so beautiful, almost exotic - with that dark hair, a color unseen in Lorien. Memories of him from the same morning filled his head - when he had lain nude before him, his pale skin glowing with heat, his dark hair spread out around his head, his beautiful flushed face, eyes dark with passion, those wanton lips - he had looked so trusting, yet so vulnerable in his state of total abandon - there was something so incredibly sweet about that. It had touched his heart in that moment and stayed there.

He turned his head and looked at the young, dark-haired Elf riding by his side, and felt a stir of tenderness in his heart, spreading through his body, making him smile... Making him want to reach out and touch him, to love him... Made him hope that even he, Haldir, the simple Guardian, perhaps one day might have a love of his own... Torn between thoughts of happiness and heartbreak, Haldir sighed heavily, and looked down to the forest floor, covered in golden leaves.

Maneuvering Tel closer, Elrohir slipped his arms gently around Haldir for a few moments, his embrace tightening gently around him before he was forced to let go as the two horses pulled away again. His fingers brushed gently across Haldir's hand as he did so. No words were said, though Elrohir could sense that the mood had changed from the lightness that had been there at the beginning. Indeed, he could feel his own mood changing a little, but it was so easy to simply push it aside and allow himself to worry about someone else instead. Haldir presented him with that option, a distraction from his own thoughts. It had been long enough now that he was used to hiding what he felt, what worried him. Only those who knew him well enough would notice.

Haldir captured Elrohir's hand before the horses moved further apart and brought it to his lips, kissing the fingers gently, then letting them go. Turning to look at Elrohir, he sensed that he, too, grew more serious. He moved Nim closer again, and stroked his hand tenderly along the young Elf's cheek. "You seem to be worried, Elrohir. Are you not looking forward to meeting your grandparents again?"

He felt a pang of anxiety at the thought and dropped his hand to his side. "'Tis nothing," Elrohir replied easily, giving Haldir a little smile. Tempted to reach out and take the Guardian's hand again as soon as his own was dropped, he did not do it this time. Instead, he brought both of his own back to Tel's mane, twisting his fingers through the coarse, dark hairs. "We will be there soon, will we not?' he asked after a moment, noting Haldir's increasing tension, wondering what it was related to, yet not daring to ask.

"Yes, we are almost there. Look through those trees - that is the city gate. In five minutes we will be inside." Haldir halted Nim and dismounted. "Let us walk the last minutes. This is our final opportunity to be alone." Haldir looked up at Elrohir, his eyes almost begging.

Elrohir simply nodded, gently pulling Tel to a stop before slipping off of the mare's back, offering Haldir his hand. His fingers brushed gently along Haldir's thigh for a moment. "Walk with me?" he asked with a tired little smile.

Without speaking, Haldir embraced Elrohir, capturing his lips in a kiss, long and tender, gradually deepening, holding him tightly. Finally, he broke the kiss and buried his face deep into the curve between shoulder and neck - just stood there, holding him close, savoring the smell of him, stroking his fingers through his hair. He wished he could stay like that forever, not wanting to move, or let go of Elrohir - not knowing if he would ever get the chance to hold him again.

Returning the embrace will equal force, Elrohir did not want it to end, did not want to enter the city right then, knowing that for all intents and purposes he would most likely be left alone to his thoughts once more. It was much easier to simply slip into the past, to forget the present and what had happened that way. Yet now he had a new memory to carry with him, and he was not sure how to interpret what had happened. Yes, he still loved Shadow, knew that Haldir still loved another and yet... He kissed Haldir's jaw gently.

Finally, not letting go of Elrohir, Haldir murmured softly, "I do not know what will become of us when we arrive. You will go to your grandparents', and I will go to my talan. Tomorrow I probably must return to my post, unless the guard rotation is changed. What will you be doing during your stay? Will I see you again?" The last words had a tinge of despair. Elrohir would become the lord again, moving in circles where Haldir the guard had no access. The thought of returning to his lonely life, only catching glimpses of this young, wonderful Elf frightened him, and he held him even closer, pressing his face into his hair.

"Can you stay?" Elrohir asked quietly, glad he did not have to meet Haldir's gaze. "I am sure it can be arranged that you stay at least for a little while... I... I would like your company for a little while longer if it is possible. I do not know what I will be doing. Perhaps I will help out a little, then we may spend more time together. I know you have need of any who are willing to help." Elrohir rested his head on Haldir's shoulder, never wanting to let go.

Elrohir's response made Haldir's heart jump - perhaps there was a chance that the young lord wanted to be with him after all? Feeling his eyes suddenly grow moist with emotion, he closed them tightly and nuzzled into Elrohir's hair. He did not understand his own reactions - why was he feeling so emotional? This was not Haldir the warrior. Waiting a little, to find his voice again, he finally whispered, "I would like that very much, lord Elrohir. If there is any chance of changing my watches, I will do it." Hesitantly, frightened of the response he would receive, he added slowly, "Would you like to come and visit me in my talan this evening? Then we could discuss it further."

"The pleasure would be mine, Haldir," Elrohir answered, smiling to the wind and the trees. He wondered if he was using Haldir to distract himself from his thoughts and yet... Elrohir thought he heard and saw some of his own need in Haldir... No, he was not using the other, they were here, and they both knew the reasons why they were here, why they were together in the first place. It did not hurt to find comfort where one could, especially when both needed it. "Thank you, Haldir."

Sighing, Haldir began to disentangle himself from Elrohir's hair. He was glad that Elrohir would come to visit him, that thought would help him get through the ordeal he was about to face when he had to take Elrohir up to meet his Lord. He knew not what he would do about the watches though he would probably need to persuade one of his brothers.

He kissed Elrohir a last time, deep and passionate, holding him tight. Then he straightened his head and looked him in the eyes. "My talan lies near the city wall, not far from the guardroom. Just pass the large fountain and follow the little creek, then you will find it. I will talk to my brothers about the watches, and see what can be arranged. Now I must escort you up to the reception hall where you will meet the Lord and the Lady." With a loving look, he kissed Elrohir lightly on the tip of his nose.

Returning the look for a moment before kissing Haldir gently on the lips, Elrohir nodded. "I can find my way, and if not, someone should know where the beautiful Guardian of the Wood lives." He smiled slightly, fingers caressing Haldir's face lovingly. "And what time should I come?" Elrohir asked quietly, reluctant to pull away.

Leaning into the touch, Haldir could not resist nipping Elrohir's lips again - they were so tempting and tasted so good. He felt like a young Elfling saying goodbye to his lover, never wanting to let go - and smiled a little to himself at that thought - knowing the moment they entered the city gates he would be the guard and Elrohir the lord, and it would be unseemly of them to behave this way - at least in public. Not able to take his mouth away from the sweet lips he murmured, "Come as soon as you can. I will be there."

Elrohir smiled. "I will," he answered, kissing Haldir again before reluctantly pulling away from those warm, protective arms with a sigh. "Come, Haldir of Lothlorien, before we can not leave each other's arms." Elrohir blushed slightly at his own words, leaning against Tel.

"Yes, you are right." Haldir smiled slightly, enjoying the light blush on Elrohir's face, thinking there was nothing he wanted more right then than to 'not' be able to leave his arms. Taking Elrohir's hand in his, he gently urged Nim along, intending to hold his hand until they entered the city gate.

Giving Haldir's hand a squeeze, Elrohir felt comforted to know that he was not alone. Not that he was really worried about meeting the Lord and the Lady, but it was more that Shadow kept coming back to his mind more often than not. Elrohir locked the thoughts away effectively; knowing now was not the time for such things, perhaps later. But later was Haldir's time Elrohir looked forward to that more than he dared admit even to himself.

Lord and Guardian - 6 & 7